Do I need to convict her husband of infidelity? If "yes" - 12 signs of treason
“Let’s start by thinking about whether we need to know about partner’s treason, and if so, why,” recommends psychologist Galina Artemyeva. For those who have already decided and are sure that yes, it is necessary, the author lists the main signs that a man changes.
Of course, on the one hand, in great knowledge lies great sorrow. And you know less - sleep better. And while you do not know, it does not seem to exist. It's like that. But the thing is this. We are women! We cannot let something mysterious or, say, evoking questions, happen under our nose. Our nature requires us to find out everything well. Even if then everything goes to dust.
At the same time, our female inquisitiveness is only half the battle. Here, if we sit with our eyes closed and ears closed, our whole familiar and understandable life can collapse. After all, we, as opposed to our husbands, are very naive and gullible innocently when it comes to communicating with women, it is clear that the mistress will definitely have to play her game, tough, uncompromising and not limited by any rules of morality, to win over our husband to your side and make him again a husband, but not ours. The main enemy of the mistress is the wife of her lover. Like this! Guilty without guilt, deceived. Yes, and someone's enemy, who want to trample and defeat. Everything is used: the most sophisticated caresses in bed, romance, poems by e-mail, tears (very quiet, beautiful, unlike the wife’s home screams) and, finally, heavy artillery: pregnancy. And here ...
Therefore, so. If you are very confident in yourself, if you have a strong character, if your husband is pleasant to you, but not so expensive, if you have a great sense of humor, then leave it at that. Live quietly (which you will do without my advice). I remember my colleague, who possessed all the qualities listed above. It was very nice to communicate with her! I didn’t make tragedy out of anything. Radiant comes to work: "Imagine, it seems, Karenchik's mistress appeared!" On the question of what will happen now, he answers calmly: "But nothing. Let him walk." I sit somehow at her place. She calls her husband: "Karenchik, how are you? Got an answer to the sexual question? Well, go home, otherwise we are bored. And here the food is delicious." From the tube comes a healthy male laugh. Nowhere did her husband end up in the end.
So the main thing: do not dramatize. But this few people can.
In that case, let's watch. Recall the proverb: "With whom you will lead, you will gather up." Changes are sure to manifest. Here is a list of the main signs of a man changing you:
- Your husband, rather indifferent about his wardrobe, begins to buy new clothes. Himself.
- Changes her hair.
- Changes toilet water.
- He gets a lot of urgent work and business meetings, because of which he is late until late in the morning, if not until the morning.
- He changes the password of his e-mail, which earlier (at his insistence) you chose him yourself.
- He now has not one mobile phone, but two. (The second, in his words, only for business negotiations, "corporate", protects it like the apple of an eye.)
- He is often called in the evenings, and he is very laconic and reserved during these conversations.
- Having received a text message, he moves away from you to read it. Text messages, by the way, come much more often than before.
- He otherwise behaves with you (sometimes, feeling guilty, becomes incredibly tender, more often (because of the same complex of guilt) - irritable, ironic, skeptical).
- Marital intimacy becomes extremely rare and differs in subtle details.
- His mobile phone is too often disconnected, you cannot reach him for the whole evening (on the very evening when he has the most urgent work).
- Men attach great importance to their wedding ring. When a man is proud of his marriage, the family he created, he sees the ring as a manifestation of the correctness of his choice. We, women, often during the period of pregnancy, remove the wedding ring due to swelling fingers, then - household chores, etc. A man happy in family life will wear a ring, no matter what, even if it presses a little, etc. Therefore, the ring taken off by her husband is the most serious signal! He will certainly explain the absence of the ring by the fact that it has become reaped or he has lost weight, the ring falls off. No matter what he explains. Even if you buy him a ring in size, after some time you will find that this ring does not suit your spouse either.
And here's another situation. Irina and Eugene. By all measures, a good alliance, sealed by time. Played a silver wedding. Adult son. Beautiful - a sight for sore eyes. We have achieved a lot in life by common efforts.
Irina still does not understand what made her read her text message on her mobile phone that morning. For all the years of marriage, she never in any way invaded his personal world. And then - her husband was sleeping soundly after night duty (two hardest operations per night!), The phone was lying in the kitchen, she was cleaning up the remnants of breakfast. The mobile phone vibrated, blew, buzzed. She was frightened that her husband would wake up, although their bedroom was at a very different end of the apartment. I grabbed the device, pressed the button, saw the message in German, but sent it from a Russian mobile. Her husband is fluent in several languages. She is only English. Something pricked her in the heart. Some inconsistency: Russian number, German text. Something made me take a German-Russian dictionary from the shelf and flick through pages with trembling fingers, searching for the meanings of words, each of which led her to mortal horror. The text appeared something like this: “How did you get home after the madness of our night? I didn’t hear how you left. I want you and I know you too. I kiss.”
Ira then looked: there were a whole bunch of messages like this. No translation required. Everywhere I want, everywhere I kiss. Fun. Famously. Fervently. Something already about six months. And the truth is: in the past six months he has loaded himself with work beyond measure. Watch for duty. Operation after operation. Inhuman fatigue. Previously, at least for the weekend, we were chosen out of town or abroad to change the situation for at least a couple of days, and then it completely stopped working.
Irina took out her husband's passport (some kind of insight was found) and saw that she was mistaken: her husband was traveling abroad. It was on those weekends when unexpected duty and urgent operation arose.
Having lost her head completely, Ira told the phone to dial the hated number.
- I know, I know what you want, but you can not! Sleep come on! - responded fervent reckless female voice in the purest Russian. - She's nearby? You want it, but you are silent! "The chirping burst into happy laughter and disconnected. And what was to be done with all this?
She gave her husband to sleep "after the madness of this night." She understood that it was best to remain silent and break down the comedy of family well-being. Now it's just a comedy ... It didn't work out. She couldn’t cope with the face, hands, seeing the sleepy, baby-pink face of her second half. There was a long conversation. Confession.
“I needed a change of scenery,” the husband explained. - Well, here we are going from our beloved home to rest in a five-star hotel. Here it is - a five star hotel. But only.
"Five-star hotel" was a married woman. The husband, a German, a colleague of Eugene, practiced in Moscow and in Frankfurt. Luxurious woman missed. Well, it turned out, how it happened.
“I love you,” the husband assured. - You - dear. The dearest.
They did not break up. Live as they lived. At the weekend, fly together to change the situation. Unplanned operations dispelled like smoke. But Ira still can not forget. That text will be remembered, the voice of the "hotel". Tears themselves well. She wants to change everything in her life. She just doesn't know how yet. But one thing she knows for sure: she is no longer a friend to her husband. And never will be. Never. (However, she can't know about “never”: time is the best doctor ...)