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Not married but a child: What do you have to arrange?

Do you get a child, but are not you married? Do you not have a registered partnership, but does the partner want to take care of the child and take responsibility? Then the biological father or dual mother must recognize the child and apply for parental authority. If this is not done, legally nothing is arranged and almost everything ends up on the mother's plate. It also means that you have no control over the child. Read here what you need to arrange not married but a child.

Why marry for child

Are you not married but a child or are you pregnant but not married or do you not have a registered partnership (please note: this is not the same as a cohabitation contract) then legally nothing has been arranged. The biological father or dual mother is therefore not recognized as the official parent and therefore has zero rights. There is also nothing recorded about what should happen if your relationship breaks down or if one of you dies. Everything ends up on the mother's plate.

If you are not married, you must first recognize the child and then apply for parental authority. When you marry each other then all of that is not necessary. The father or dual mother is legally the parent and also directly cares for the child. Everything is immediately arranged and recorded and that can be a lot of hassle.

Pregnant and not living together

Couples who buy a house together have a cohabitation contract, but this does not have much significance for your child. So even if you live together or not, and your partner wants to play a role in the life of the child, then the person must recognize the child and apply for parental authority. You can also do that if you do not live together.

Pregnant and a cohabitation contract? Then the partner must still recognize the child and apply for parental authority!

If the person who is not the mother wants to be involved with the child, he or she must first recognize the child. This can be done at the municipality. If you recognize the child, you have a maintenance obligation. If you split up, you have the right to information, contact and consultation, but it does not mean that you automatically take care of the child. Your child may inherit from you, be allowed to carry your surname and possibly get your nationality.

Recognize child costs

The first step that is useful to take if you have a child but are not married is to recognize the child. This can be done before birth, directly after birth if you indicate the child to the municipality or a while after the birth. You can even recognize a child if the child is older than 16 years. If the child is under the age of 12, the mother must always give written permission.

You can recognize your child through the municipality where the child is born or is born. The costs of this are saved per municipality. The recognition request is free. A copy of the recognition certificate is around 13 or 15 euros.

Conditions for recognizing child

If you want to acknowledge the child, you must meet the following conditions:

  • You must be older than 16 years.
  • The mother has given permission.
  • If the child is 12 years old, you need permission from the child in addition to the consent of the mother.
  • You can not be a relative of the mother.
  • There must be no more than 2 parents. So if someone else has already recognized the child, then a third person can not do that anymore.
  • If you are under guardianship, you first need permission from the subdistrict court.

Not married but a child: arrange parental authority!

If you recognize the child, it does not mean that you also have parental authority. For example, if the mother dies, this does not mean that you can automatically care for the child. You are therefore not a legal representative and you are not allowed to make decisions about the upbringing. If you want this, you must apply for parental authority. Parental authority is the duty and the right to care and raise as a parent, for the child. You may also perform official acts on behalf of the child.

You must apply for parental authority at the court. Before the parental authority can be applied for, the father or dual mother must first recognize the child. You then have to apply for parental authority together. You can submit the request digitally. You both have to have a DigiD and your baby's Social Security number. The digital application can be registered 7 days after the birth of your child and the child must already be registered with the municipality.

It is also possible to apply for parental authority in writing. For this you need an extract of the birth certificate stating that the child is recognized. Furthermore, both of you must take the copies of your identity card. You can download the form here.

If you request authority digitally, it is free. If you do this in writing, you will incur costs as you have to send documents that you need to request from the municipality. The costs differ per municipality.

Not married but a child and death

If the child is recognized, the child can inherit from both parents. If you are not married but a child or do not have a registered partnership, then it is wise to record in a will what your child will receive. If you do not do that, your child will automatically be entitled to a certain amount. This amount must be paid out within a short time.

For example, if you have bought a house together, the child is entitled to half the value of the house. This must be paid within half a year, even if you do not have it in your bank account.It often happens that the remaining parent has to sell the house because otherwise they can not pay the amount. How crooked this is. You can prevent this by drawing up a will.

Notary baby not married

Not married but a child, it is always wise to go to a notary to record a few things. For example a will for your child, even when you are (not) married. In this way, you prevent the child from inheriting half and the remaining parent with debts. In the case of death, the inheritance always goes to the children and not to the partner (if you are not married).

Even if the child is still too young, he or she gets all the money. This can be prevented by drawing up a will and naming the partner as heir. The child will receive the inheritance after the death of the other partner or you will lay down another arrangement. If you are married, this is automatically arranged in this way.

A notary can also help you with other matters concerning inheritance etc. So if you want to avoid problems in the future, it is really necessary to record a few things legally.

What should you arrange if you are pregnant and not married

Briefly an overview of what you have to arrange as not married but have a child: