Acquaintance with a man: 5 secrets of a strong relationship
Professional matchmakers - mother and son Joan and Steve Ward - continue to reveal the secrets of harmonious relationships. Today - their advice on how to maintain relationships with your loved one. It is as difficult as developing them. Girls and women, having caught a guy and getting used to frequent dates, believe that you can relax. This is a mistake. In order for the relationship to be long, you need to constantly maintain a spark of excitement. It is extremely important to understand that healthy, happy relationships need nourishment.
Rule 1: avoid quarrels
When you are in a relationship (this applies to all kinds of relationships), by all means try to avoid quarrels. Calm down, otherwise you can say or do something that you regret later. If you bryaknesh any muck, it will not be easy to take it back.
If you say or do something truly offensive, your man may eventually forgive you, but never forget, especially if your words or deeds offend and hurt his pride, pride or mental abilities. Maybe you make up and you will think that all is well, but the resentment will remain.
Before the quarrel begins, step back and suggest discussing everything when both of you calm down. It will be a little easier for both of you, because women often want to deal with the problem right away and express what they feel.
Men, on the contrary, usually just want to solve the problem, if possible to avoid emotional clarifications. Let him know that you are pulling away from the problem, to pull yourself together, kiss him and leave. Remember how good your relationship is, remember why you love him.
Rule 2: Tell him how good you feel with him.
No matter, twenty years of marriage behind your back, or the first time you spent with him, you should always tell him how well you are with him. Say that in bed he is the best of all who you had before. If this is not the case or you feel embarrassed to say such things, you can always say something equally pleasant, for example: “Oh, you are so amazing!” Or: “I wanted it so much, thank you!”
No matter how many times you say this, men can listen to such things endlessly. Nothing motivates a man like praise. It is important to show how dear you are. Do not relax, otherwise he will think that you are accustomed to him and take it for granted. We know that you yourself would not like to feel such an attitude on the part of a beloved man.
Rule 3: keep away from each other
In a relationship you need to learn how to get close. Imagine a bonsai: one branch can grow faster than another or in another direction, but still it is a single tree. In the same way as when caring for bonsai, relationships need to be constantly corrected and given a clear form so that they grow as you want. It is imperative that the branches grow together and not break off.
Just imagine: young people get married and they immediately have children. Wife at home with the children, has a household. Husband all the time at work. This couple is convinced: here the kids will grow up, fly out of the nest, then there will be time to travel together and enjoy life. Years go by. The children are leaving, and these two suddenly realize that they have nothing in common, except, of course, children.
This can be avoided if each spouse gives time and personal growth and development of relations. Of course, the task is not easy when you need to pursue a career and raise children, but it is necessary to maintain long-term communication.
Rule 4: Be a Diplomat
Sometimes, for the sake of maintaining relationships, you have to agree that you have different opinions. Whatever happens, always put your loved one first. If both of you put each other first, you will inevitably be accompanied by love and happiness. However, in order for this to work, both of you must necessarily reason like this. Never try to outdo each other in the field of relationships: love is not a competition. On the contrary, love is manifested in the ability to retreat from something for the sake of the happiness of another person. Avoid quarrels at any cost. They will bring only dissatisfaction and resentment, which over time will accumulate, fester and, eventually, will lead to the destruction of the relationship. Always imagine the big picture. Carefully avoid quarrels, and direct time and energy to something pleasant.
Rule 5: end the day with a positive
Finish the day on the positive.
Mom always taught me: in a relationship you should never go to bed irritated and angry. Maybe it sounds beaten, but it's true. We can not allow quarrels to be delayed, you can not end the day on a negative note. Even if you are angry, remember, you love each other. It is much easier for women to report the existence of a problem and their desire to solve it, therefore, more often than not, it is you who will have to play the role of a peacemaker. Look at things in perspective: if a quarrel drags on, it will be harder and harder to get out of it.
There are moments in the life of each person when he is repelled, rejected. Learn from each such experience and move on - it makes you better. In our world there will definitely be a person suitable for you, so do not give up! When you meet love, you will understand, it was worth the effort spent on the way to it.