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About "children as children" and "children as not children"

Many parents sigh heavily: "In others, children are like children, but we have ..." I want to immediately object to you. You, too, most likely, "children like children." Just with children is almost never easy, and you are tired.

About difficulties and ease in parental life

So, dear parents, do you have difficulties with your own children? So you have "children like children." And who guaranteed or promised you only lightness? Such is our parental life - continuous difficulties, difficulties and problems. However, sometimes difficulties are replaced by small lungs. But then, alas! Again come the difficulties. Of course, there are long periods of lightness. But, as a rule, for them again begin new difficulties. And this is normal. It simply means that inflammation of the lungs has occurred in your family and in your parental labor. This happens. And it is necessary, if possible, to calm down.

Do kids make us tense up, nervous and worried all the time? Children create endless problems for us and cumulate difficulties? Congratulations! So you have normal healthy children.

Almost philosophical reasoning: The problems that we are trying to solve with our children and in our children are most often NOT the problems of children, but are problems of adults, i.e. our problems. Therefore, dear parent, you should first deal with yourself and your own problems.

Yes, in our parental life, there is inflammation of the lungs, and inflammation of the difficulties, and various other misfortunes, sores and troubles. But this is all - it does not matter, because we have so many amenities with our children. And the difficulties can be easily overcome, if only it is not the absence of adult wisdom, the end of parental love and the burst of ordinary human patience.

Almost philosophical reasoning: Our children present us with rebuses and opuses. And also show tricks, chip off numbers and pick up viruses. And they also give us gladioli and cacti. Well, what's wrong with that? That is life. Our parental life!

Himself illusionist

There is a big illusion of parenting: ideal parenting, good children - all this should be without parental unrest and experiences. But you will agree, in real life this is unlikely to happen. We look at other people and their children. For those that seem ideal to us. And for some reason we think that the parenting of these people proceeds without problems and experiences, thus concluding that they have "children like children." A parent who thinks like that himself creates a similar illusion. And it turns out that such a parent is an illusionist to himself.

Such a concept or phenomenon as easy and carefree parenting does not exist. In every family, any parents have their own difficulties, difficulties and problems. And this is natural. That's life.

If in your early childhood your children often cry, capricious, do not sleep at night and get sick, then, dear parents, you have “children like children.” If, at an early school age, your children are lazy, get "two" and "three" at school, lose sneakers and diaries and do not want to learn at all, then you have "children like children." If you have incredible difficulties with your children in adolescence, while they test you for strength, and the whole world is at the same time, then everything is normal, it means that you have “children as children”, and their development and maturation go exactly according to the textbook age psychology.

If your children do not get sick, do not cry, do not be capricious, they just sit and smile at you sweetly, it means that you don’t have “children like children”, but children like dolls, sugary and beautiful, and alas! inanimate. If your children do not have problems at school and difficulties with studies, sit at home for lessons, doing bite through the day and night, getting one "five", it means that you do not have "children like children", but children like bison, children like robots and bore. [...]

No, thanks! We, dear parents, do not need any lifeless dolls or robots ... Better to let our children be "like children," ordinary and normal children. And they want to believe that they are. They are simply living, healthy, curious and lively children. And this is happiness! Our parental happiness with you is to have just such, and not any other children.

Do children require constant attention, full parental return, our involvement in the process of their growth and maturation? If so, then we have normal children. We just have children as children, like other parents. And I think, deep down, we realize that you and I have children as children who demand unceasing, unceasing, endless and endless parental work from their parents, huge parental investments; nervous, intellectual, energy costs and all sorts of other investments. And it is required from us, parents, all this precisely because we have children as children. And we, of course, get tired of being parents, as they say in America "twenty-four fractions of seven," ie 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Yes, parenting is the work of "twenty-four fractions seven," and without days off and holidays.

But if we, adults, constantly do not tense up, do not be nervous, do not worry about our children. If we do not solve their endless problems. If we do not get tired sometimes from our own children. If we do not pay them constant attention, if we are not included in their childhood and do not work as a parent with full dedication and selflessness, then we, adults, act as non-adults. And, perhaps, we are not acting at all, naively believing that children can grow on their own, as in a field of grass. Only illiterate adults with underdeveloped adult thinking, or very lazy adults can think and do so. And if adults do not understand and do not realize that they have children as children, then these are adults as non-adults, and adults as children, and children are not to blame for this.

Just a call: Dear adults! Be like adults!

The rule of parental movement in life: Normal healthy children always give their parents a lot of worries, troubles and worries. And normal sensible adults always wisely care for children, protecting and preserving their childhood.

Just a question: What are you adults? Adults as adults or adults as children? Normal adults or not?

And so, if you, dear parents, have children as children, and you yourself are adults as adults, then most likely you are tired. And this is normal. There is metal fatigue. There is muscle fatigue. And there is fatigue of the parent. And this is quite natural. We get tired of a huge amount of responsibilities and obligations, we get tired of life problems and difficulties, we get tired of our children. And this is life.

So let's talk about parental fatigue. What to do with this phenomenon and how to deal with it. And in general, how to become a phenomenal parent, even if sometimes tired of their children.

Just a call: Next, and with a song! For not singing and not having musical data, you can with a joke. Here it is: forward, and with a joke! The main thing, only forward!

Watch the video: Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass Official Music Video (November 2019).