How to increase the self-esteem of a teenager: a letter to yourself and 4 more ways
To increase self-esteem, it is not necessary to turn to a psychologist — there are many exercises in books and on the Internet for developing self-confidence. It turns out that they are even for teenagers, for whom low self-esteem can bring a lot of inconvenience. So, how can a growing child help himself and increase his self-esteem?
One of the main tasks of the modern school is to inculcate the student with the skills of self-improvement so that he becomes a harmoniously developed person, can achieve goals and achieve success. In this issue, the key role is played by the level of adolescent self-esteem.
Unfortunately, today, adolescents' self-esteem is often understated, and a young man who goes into the adult world is not too confident. And this directly affects the quality that is very important for development - positive thinking, making it difficult to be optimistic about your successes and failures.
Low self-esteem - from where?
The main reasons for low self-esteem are several. First, it is a direct reproduction of the parental assessment. The teenager emphasizes in himself those qualities which are noted by the parents, while the negative attitude forms in him a feeling of inferiority. In such a situation, his internal self-assessment criteria may be silent for a long time.
Secondly, it is a mixed self-esteem. In this case, a conflict occurs between one's own “I”, strengthened in social interactions, and echoes of the adolescent’s parental vision. The third common situation is when a teenager does not see a negative parental assessment and transforms it into a positive one.
The solution to the problem of low self-esteem lies in the field of psychology. Therefore, often the advice is superficial and not useful. For example, when they say: "Just do what you fear - and your self-esteem will increase." For some reason, the author of this advice does not pay attention to the apparent contradiction: a person would hardly was afraidif for him to do it was really simply. And it does not matter what kind of business we are talking about: you can be afraid to say “no” to the boss, but you can not even be able to look the other person in the eye.
For the formation of a picture of success, self-analysis of its qualities and results in various activities is necessary. Due to this, self-esteem, psychological stability and adequacy are formed.
How to improve self-esteem: 5 exercises
Now we will consider 5 simple practices, which, despite their simplicity, take into account all the complex psychological nuances.
1. Weaknesses are hidden strengths. What is weakness for one person may well be a strong personality trait for another. For example, some people will call a punctual person an example for imitation, and others - a bore and a pedant. Or talkativeness - which can be regarded as a positive trait, developing sociability, and can be perceived as intrusive.
Exercise: write down your weaknesses in a bar and for each of them find at least one positive interpretation.
2. The best version of yourself. Exercise: give yourself half an hour and start fantasizing. Imagine a completely comfortable and safe place where you enjoy your strong and healthy inner being. Specify fantasy: where exactly are you located? what do you see and hear? what do you feel?
Positive experiences are very important, because you can always rely on them in moments of weakness. Therefore, such sensations need to be periodically created for oneself, photographed with the mind’s eye and stored in memory.
3. Taming the inner critic. The inner critic has been growing in us since childhood. He asks tricky questions and makes you feel upset and weak. Sometimes it is useful, as it can motivate strong-willed actions, but you should not often listen to it.
Exercise: listen in what situations and what exactly the internal critic says, and then give him a name. Then imagine his gestures, posture and clothes - and draw it. All this will help you to better understand the inner critic and (most importantly!) Realize that the critic is only a part of your personality, whose arguments can always be opposed.
This can also be assisted by an internal assistant - from our next point.
4. Internal assistant. Internal assistant helps to see the positive side of what is happening. He says “stop” to inner criticism. This may be a caring parent or a loving person, and maybe even a fairy or a good wizard. The main thing that such an assistant seemed to you a source of strength.
Exercise: Introduce your inner helper and the situation when he came to the rescue, give him a name and draw it. Write down, with what encouraging phrases he could respond to criticism. Every day, pay attention to the fact that the assistant has good words, and rejoice even in the smallest successes.
5. A love message to oneself. Think of your friends, parents and loved ones. Why are they good with you? What are your good qualities visible to other people?
Exercise: look at yourself through the eyes of a man who loves you very much. And then, having spent at least half an hour, write a letter on paper from which it will be clear that the person loves you. The answer is "No, I can not do that" is not accepted. Believe me, such a letter is one of the most valuable gifts to yourself.
With such unusual and interesting exercises you can achieve a lot. With increasing self-esteem, inner strength and hardness are gained. A person becomes more confident day by day, defends his interests and boundaries, communicates on an equal footing with different people. He succeeds and feels happy.