How games develop children: 3 stories. How to play developed children 3-4 years
Very few parents nowadays play with their children for 2, 3, 4 years. Even less adults consider role playing important and useful for the development of the child. But you cannot get away from the programmed nature of the program. On objections like "And he is not interested in playing" and "But they didn't play with me in childhood - why should I?" Anna Bykova, the author of the book "Developing classes of a lazy mother."
The main activity for a child of 3-4 years - the game. And it seems everyone already knows. But not everyone understands correctly.
Some adults understand this as a "favorite activity." That is what the child will do if not to entice him with “useful developmental activities”.
But the "leading activity" is the activity that, in fact, solves the main tasks of the development of a given age. More developed is the child, whose play activity is more difficult. He can not just roll the cars on the carpet, and write a whole game plot. People went by car to visit another city, met friends on the way, agreed to go together, then they ran out of gas, then the wheel came down, then they got lost, then a heavy rain began, the road blurred, but the car turned into a boat or helicopter.
Why should parents play with children
Naturally, in order to reach such a high level of plot-role-playing game, it is necessary that an adult participate in the game, who, following the imagination of the child, will prompt him new twists and turns of the plot. If an adult does not become a full-fledged participant in the role-playing game, he significantly impoverishes the development of the child.
The main component of the free game is creativity. If an adult is not interested in playing with a child in dolls, bears, dogs, it means that he does not add an element of his creativity to this game. The game plot does not taxi out so that it becomes interesting in the game itself. Under such conditions, creative thinking does not develop in a child.
If parents regularly switch the child’s attention from playing activities to fulfilling assignments to study letters, numbers, geometric shapes, animal and plant species, then the emphasis is on developing reproductive thinking.
Reproductive thinking - the assimilation and reproduction of ready-made knowledge. The kid reads, knows a lot of facts - this is impressive, makes an impression on relatives and acquaintances, allows parents to feel a pleasant sense of pride.
But this is not evidence of good development. This is more about the good learning of the child and the persistence of the parent. And this, of course, does not imply the child’s own activity, does not realize his intellectual and creative potential.
As the child develops in the game
The girl tied a teddy bear's paw with a ribbon, and under the other paw she stuck a pencil, after which she took the bear in her arms and began to rock, singing a lullaby song. She transferred her life experience of visiting an emergency room and clinic to a toy - this is a mental operation. She decided that the ribbon is like a bandage, and the thermometer on a pencil is a mental operation.
By the way, when a child replaces one object with another according to the principle “let's say a pencil will be a thermometer”, this is the formation of a sign system. The sign system is the basis of mathematics. Because in mathematics all the objects and phenomena of the surrounding world are replaced by signs.
And the girl was able to make up a story for her mom, tell what happened to the bear and why his paw was bandaged. For her age, this is a very difficult mental operation, but she managed.
And she showed empathy. She knows how to regret her bear - this is evidence of the development of emotional intelligence. And all this it produces on its own initiative. Present personal activity, which is one of the main conditions for full mental development. This game is not just filling the time.
"He is not interested with his peers"
I had a child in my group who knew a lot, but did not know how to play, could not get involved in the game with peers. Parents explained it this way: "He is not developed over the years, so he is not interested in his peers." And they asked the question: "Maybe it should be transferred to a group for older children?"
But a lot of knowledge does not make a child mature. Inability to communicate with peers can be a signal that in some area the child is lagging behind them in development. For example, in the emotional sphere.
Grandmother came to pick up her "prodigy" from kindergarten. He sat on a bench and leafed through the book.
- Grandma, look, this is a jaguar!
- Not! This is a cow! - throws the phrase running past the other boy. He is joking. He has long known what a cow looks like. But to always call a cow a cow, and a jaguar a jaguar is so boring.
The third boy from the group sees the jaguar in the book, hears the version about the cow, understands the joke and also jokes:
- No, it's a kangaroo!
They look at each other and both laugh.
"Wunderkind" raises surprised eyes to her grandmother:
- Grandma, why do they say that? This is a jaguar! Are they stupid?
Meanwhile, the "stupid" begin to jump together and chant rhythmically:
- Kangaroo shouts "Mu-mu!"
They know how to invent jokes, understand the jokes of others, react emotionally to them, joke back, show creativity, know how to rhyme and feel the rhythm.
Tired of jumping, one boy says to another:
- I'm a kangaroo, and I'll eat you!
The second is instantly included in the new game. He screamed and ran through the group, shouting and waving his arms:
- Save yourself, who can!
With this they even more surprised the “prodigy”, because:
- Grandma, kangaroo after all herbivores!
He knows a lot. But can not play.
Transfer from "stupid" children to an older group will not correct the situation. Because the problem is not that other children know little, but that this child does not know how to play. The task of his age is not completed.
“But he is better at interacting with older guys!” He plays with them!
This is not his best. That they do better. That they already know how to listen, give in, can show condescension to the small, come up with a joint game and tell him what to do.
"And my parents did not play with me ..."
- Why should I even play with the child? For example, I do not remember my parents playing with me. It seems to me that a whole generation has grown up, children who themselves played without the participation of adults. And now something happened to the children, probably, that they themselves are not playing.
Nothing happened to the children. The changes affected our way of life. Previously, children were quietly released into the yard to walk alone. Children gathered together from three to ten years. The older ones were taught to play the younger ones. Children are easier to meet, easier to communicate. The phrase "Boy, will you play with us?" was involved in the game a new party.
Everyone was looking for an opportunity to play together. The one who was the first to leave the courtyard gathered his company, shouting from the street into the open windows of a familiar apartment: “Seryozha, come out!”. Or knocking on the door: "And Natasha will come out?".
If you now have such an environment (for example, a closed guarded courtyard), then you can not play with the child, this function is easily performed by neighboring children. It is possible that they will need to be organized first. Gather together and teach to play. "Dead Man's Silence," "cat and mouse," "classic" ...
In an advantageous position are large families. In a family where there are five years old, mother can also not play with younger children if the children play with each other (the older ones were taught to play by adults). But if you have only one child, and there is no company for games in the yard, then you cannot do without your participation in the game activity. So play. It is important.
My solution is a gaming company.
Or organize a child company for joint games. I chose the option "to find a company", willingly inviting for a walk or hosting neighboring children.
Parents were pleased with the fact that children are supervised and have the opportunity to do their own business at this time. The children were happy with the opportunity to play together. I was pleased that my child was busy playing with other children, which means that I can also do my own business, simultaneously watching the process to intervene if necessary.
It may seem that the parents thus got rid of the children in order to go about their adult activities, instead of taking care of the children. But when children play with children, but not with adults, this is the development of communication skills and emotional intelligence.
In the company of their own kind, children play more emotionally than with adults. An adult rarely plays on equal terms with a child. An adult in the game often gives in, plays along, agrees, smoothing out critical moments, warning the negative emotions of his baby.
Under such conditions, the child does not have space to train upholding his position. And he also does not learn to give.
- How can you handle it? This is such a noise all evening! - surprised Sonya's mother, who came to us for a daughter. We have been drinking tea in the kitchen for half an hour. During this time, Sanya and Sonya quarreled and made peace five times.
At the time of the climax of the conflict, Sanya shouts: "I will not call you again!", Then Sonya: "I’ll go home now and not come again!" But then someone is inferior to someone, and the game continues.
Or no one is inferior. For a while they silently sulk at each other. Then the well-known phenomenon begins to work "Together closely, and apart boring." Children get bored and play together again.
From visit to visit the number of disputes and quarrels between them decreases. Children - with the help of adults - learn to negotiate, share toys, give in, not react so emotionally. As a result, they are less likely to be offended and angry. By the age of five, they begin to relate their behavior to the reaction of another: "If I say this, then Sonya will be offended. If I do this, then Sonya will be angry." This is a manifestation of emotional intelligence - a person's ability to be aware of their own and other people's emotions, to capture what other people want, to be able to get along with them.