Everything is jerky! # blog53
There are those moments, then I find everything jerking. Then I find the world unfair, my boyfriend stupid, my child is annoying and my ex-annoy irritating. And above all those annoyances prevails above all the feeling that I am greatly undervalued and that no one can appreciate me. That it is all self-evident that I prepare a fresh meal every night, do the shopping for it, help with the homework, make sure the holidays are really festive, buy presents for everyone (often including those for myself), go along to the doctor, inflamed toenails loving care, vacation trips and days out of line, et cetera.
On those days I want to shout from the roofs that this is not normal! That everyone greatly undervalues me and that they will miss all that when I am no longer there. It is ungrateful. Do you hear that ?! Un-grateful-rig!
Luckily, those moments do not last very long and I turn quietly again. Only when everything is over, I think: 'Oh yes, I have to get my period, that's why I felt so sad.' My housemates usually draw that conclusion a little easier. Fortunately, there is no one who dares to say, "Honey, period?" Everyone keeps silent. And that is, of course, good for everyone's health.
Hormones are crazy things. In my case, they have to be heard a few days before I have to have my period. That is why I do not realize at such a moment that my hormones are responsible for my feeling. After all, my feeling really feels at such a moment.
Today I happened to speak to someone who said: 'It would be handy if you had a button and could turn it off.' That would indeed be useful, but I would not have a ball on it. The moment I feel so jerky, it just feels really real. No second would come to my head that the feeling might be a tiny tad could be nourished by my hormones. No. At such a moment I feel like Calimero and the whole world is against me.
Fortunately, I do not have a stupid boyfriend but a very sweet friend, who at these moments (usually) does not discuss it with me, but just loves to buy a bunch of tulips for me. Or take a piece of chocolate for me. Or just say 'sorry', although he has no idea what he has to say. Fortunately, he knows that in about a day or two everything is just calm again, as if nothing ever happened.
At least for a month ...